88 Days

Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 1 teeny tiny drag of a cigarette last night at our housewarming party.  I'M SO PISSED.  I'm a drag away from a pack a day.  I'm a drag away from a pack a day.  I'm a drag away from a pack a day.
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): This week has been spent weening myself off the Chantix.  Add that to PMS and being really hard on myself about it all and you've got one emotionally confused ex-smoker.
Mood: Ehhh, still figuring it out.  Mostly SO HAPPY, though!!
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1760

So, I totally skipped over celebrate my 12 weeks mark on the blog, but it did not pass in vain.  This week, I finally had feelings that I really liked myself better as a non-smoker.  I'm so dang productive and I feel proud of that.  BUT, this week I have faced several moments where I've had to honestly say no to cigarettes.  The cravings are back.  Luckily, I am fine if I don't drink.  BUT, last night Josh reminded me how hard I have worked the last 3 months and that it would all be for nothing if I had even just 1 cigarette.  And I agreed.  Then, I had a drag of a cigarette - what a horrible addiction nicotine is!  I emerged re-committed to quitting.  Without the Chantix, I am going to have to do more of the work.  I am set up for success, though, as I have built up healthy habits and routines AND I can celebrate the fact that I am done with the Chantix side effects!  WOOHOO!

Wish me luck.  I have come so far in my quitting journey, but this is just the beginning.  Follow along and share my struggles and triumphs!

New Shoes

Day 19
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 4 - a little sluggish feeling, no nausea, more like heartburn
Mood: Upbeat, positive
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 380

What I did today instead of smoking:

1. Texted that I was running late to work while driving. This is now illegal in Arizona This might be illegal someday in Arizona, but isn't quite yet.
   
2. Wore a cute belt over a turtle neck tunic sweater - perfect for rainy Arizona weather.
3. Picked up new prescription for Chantix - $170.00 budgeted for this expense. New BC/BS of California Rx insurance brought the retail price down to $20.00! I told the pharmacist that I would get a new pair of shoes! But coincidentally #4 is:
4. Bought a new pair of shoes yesterday! Went to DSW to spend a gift card from Melissa and had no idea what I wanted. I did not pick these shoes - they picked me. They are superb. I will post a photo later after I shave my legs.
5. Took a picture of a rainbow in the parking lot of Desert Ridge - so pretty!
6. Watched 24.
7. Treated myself to a new outfit from Kohl's.

After my post-work shopping trip, I wanted a cigarette - another trigger of mine is when I feel accomplished, I want a cigarette. Weird, huh? I took a deep breath and the want went away.

Oh Joy, I'll try a Cigarette

Day 8
Cigarettes Today: .05 of 1 - it was gross, not sure why I even bothered
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst):
Mood: Sassy at work, Exhausted at home

I figure at some point, I should discuss my history with battling nicotine addiction. But then I figured I could always just send you to my main blog's one and only post about the last time I quit.

Here is what I did today instead of smoking:
1. Was sarcastically (jokingly) mean to a co-worker all day. I think he might have actually started to believe me by the end of the day, or it was just getting annoying and he was fed up.
2. Got a pedicure and manicure
3. Cried on the inside when the nice Asian lady ripped off a blister and poured alcohol on it

Today I didn't need much to distract me from the habitual urge to smoke. It was a busy day at work and early on, I decided to dangle the mani/pedi in front of my work horse to celebrate making it one week with no cigarettes.

Oddly enough, I apparently enjoy smoking to celebrate good news, too, not just stress, because I immediately reached for a cigarette when Josh and I were basking in the glow of an accepted offer on the house we are hoping to buy! That was my crux today.

But, I'm not starting my counting again. I'm just not.