Hello Readers!

My name is Tory and I quit smoking February 3, 2010. Follow along as I pen my journey of quitting. I still live with a smoker, and have been told that it is extra tough, but I've made it this far. I am excited to share my journey and angst quitting smoking with you.

Enjoy!

Quit Smoking Meter


QuitMeter Counter courtesy of www.quitmeter.com.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Update - Eight Months

Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): A handful... ugh.
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): NONE - I'm done with that after using it for 90 days in the beginning.
Mood: Doing great!  Definitely have had some trouble with smoking after I have a couple of drinks.  But I'm doing fine whilst sober.  I have taken up spin classes and am officially obsessed with the endorphin high!  I do miss cigarettes, but I know it's for the best.  A friend of mine at work (long time smoker) just had a HUGE tumor removed from her throat.  She has since quit smoking.  I pray that she continues to quit.  I also pray that my husband quits someday, too.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 4,979
Time NOT Spent Smoking:  Over 17 days!!  I can tell you I spent most of that time planning a wedding... what on earth shall I do with my time now!  :-)

Monday, August 23, 2010

Celebrating 200 Days of Being a Non-Smoker!

Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): ZERO!!!
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): NONE - I'm done with that after using it for 90 days in the beginning.
Mood: Doing really well!  I don't miss smoking nearly as much.  I like myself A LOT more than I did in my first 100 days.  There are times when I loathe the smell of a cigarette and others where I don't mind it.  And then there are times when darn right enjoy second hand smoke!
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 4,025
Time NOT Spent Smoking:  Almost 14 days!!  That's TWO weeks of my life I have back, aside from my improved health!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Thursday, May 13, 2010

98 Days!

Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 1 teeny tiny drag of a cigarette Monday night after a work function.  I'M PISSED, but even more determined not to let it happen again.  It was really gross.  I'm a drag away from a pack a day.  I'm a drag away from a pack a day.  I'm a drag away from a pack a day.
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): I have been officially done with Chantix for one week.  After three months of taking it, my body was fairly well adjusted to having it.  There have been a couple of emotional rough patches, but I have felt pretty good, not too anxious.
Mood: Content and determined.  I just started a new job (same place) so the transition is really hectic, but good.  I am keeping busy.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1960
Time NOT Spent Smoking:  6 days, 19 hours

The wind of God's grace is always blowing, but you must raise your sails.
-VIVEKANANDA

Sunday, May 2, 2010

88 Days

Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 1 teeny tiny drag of a cigarette last night at our housewarming party.  I'M SO PISSED.  I'm a drag away from a pack a day.  I'm a drag away from a pack a day.  I'm a drag away from a pack a day.
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): This week has been spent weening myself off the Chantix.  Add that to PMS and being really hard on myself about it all and you've got one emotionally confused ex-smoker.
Mood: Ehhh, still figuring it out.  Mostly SO HAPPY, though!!
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1760

So, I totally skipped over celebrate my 12 weeks mark on the blog, but it did not pass in vain.  This week, I finally had feelings that I really liked myself better as a non-smoker.  I'm so dang productive and I feel proud of that.  BUT, this week I have faced several moments where I've had to honestly say no to cigarettes.  The cravings are back.  Luckily, I am fine if I don't drink.  BUT, last night Josh reminded me how hard I have worked the last 3 months and that it would all be for nothing if I had even just 1 cigarette.  And I agreed.  Then, I had a drag of a cigarette - what a horrible addiction nicotine is!  I emerged re-committed to quitting.  Without the Chantix, I am going to have to do more of the work.  I am set up for success, though, as I have built up healthy habits and routines AND I can celebrate the fact that I am done with the Chantix side effects!  WOOHOO!

Wish me luck.  I have come so far in my quitting journey, but this is just the beginning.  Follow along and share my struggles and triumphs!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Day 79

Tonight was my first "night out" with five other smokers.  Needless to say, I survived.  I still miss smoking, but I. did. it.

I am proud.  I have a Nicotine Anonymous Book - 90 Days, 90 Ways.  Today is day 79 of my recovery from nicotine and so I turned to that page to share with you.  Tomorrow will be 80 days.  I am so proud of myself.  It's still just one day at a time and I like it that way.

From the book, 90 Days, 90 Ways:

Show up, pay attention, tell the truth and don't be attached to the outcome. - Angeles Arrien

As the winter solstice approaches and the days become shorter, I am reminded of the darkness that seemed to grip me with increasing strength in the final days of my active addiction: the social ostracism; the fear, anxiety and worry over the harm I was causing myself physically; the utter hopelessness I felt about ever being able to quit.

I feared living without my constant companion.  I anticipated that life without nicotine would be impossible.  But the solstice teaches me that this projection was unwarranted.  Just it seems that darkness will never end, there comes a turning point when the days become longer and warmer.  Just as I anticipated that life would be unbearable without nicotine, recovery teaches me that life can be filled with so much goodness, beyond my wilder dreams.

Today I choose to live in anticipation that light inevitably follows darkness.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

11 Weeks!

Day 77
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): Still a bit concerned about mood swings when I cease the Chantix, slight dissociation at times, but that could be due to stress, too.
Mood: Good.  I laughed a lot today.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1540

Celebrating 11 weeks today!  That's over $500 and 128 hours (over 5 days) that I have back since quitting!!

Enough said.