Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): A handful... ugh.
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): NONE - I'm done with that after using it for 90 days in the beginning.
Mood: Doing great! Definitely have had some trouble with smoking after I have a couple of drinks. But I'm doing fine whilst sober. I have taken up spin classes and am officially obsessed with the endorphin high! I do miss cigarettes, but I know it's for the best. A friend of mine at work (long time smoker) just had a HUGE tumor removed from her throat. She has since quit smoking. I pray that she continues to quit. I also pray that my husband quits someday, too.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 4,979
Time NOT Spent Smoking: Over 17 days!! I can tell you I spent most of that time planning a wedding... what on earth shall I do with my time now! :-)
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Celebrating 200 Days of Being a Non-Smoker!
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): ZERO!!!
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): NONE - I'm done with that after using it for 90 days in the beginning.
Mood: Doing really well! I don't miss smoking nearly as much. I like myself A LOT more than I did in my first 100 days. There are times when I loathe the smell of a cigarette and others where I don't mind it. And then there are times when darn right enjoy second hand smoke!
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 4,025
Time NOT Spent Smoking: Almost 14 days!! That's TWO weeks of my life I have back, aside from my improved health!
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): NONE - I'm done with that after using it for 90 days in the beginning.
Mood: Doing really well! I don't miss smoking nearly as much. I like myself A LOT more than I did in my first 100 days. There are times when I loathe the smell of a cigarette and others where I don't mind it. And then there are times when darn right enjoy second hand smoke!
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 4,025
Time NOT Spent Smoking: Almost 14 days!! That's TWO weeks of my life I have back, aside from my improved health!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
98 Days!
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 1 teeny tiny drag of a cigarette Monday night after a work function. I'M PISSED, but even more determined not to let it happen again. It was really gross. I'm a drag away from a pack a day. I'm a drag away from a pack a day. I'm a drag away from a pack a day.
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): I have been officially done with Chantix for one week. After three months of taking it, my body was fairly well adjusted to having it. There have been a couple of emotional rough patches, but I have felt pretty good, not too anxious.
Mood: Content and determined. I just started a new job (same place) so the transition is really hectic, but good. I am keeping busy.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1960
Time NOT Spent Smoking: 6 days, 19 hours
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): I have been officially done with Chantix for one week. After three months of taking it, my body was fairly well adjusted to having it. There have been a couple of emotional rough patches, but I have felt pretty good, not too anxious.
Mood: Content and determined. I just started a new job (same place) so the transition is really hectic, but good. I am keeping busy.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1960
Time NOT Spent Smoking: 6 days, 19 hours
The wind of God's grace is always blowing, but you must raise your sails.
-VIVEKANANDA
Sunday, May 2, 2010
88 Days
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 1 teeny tiny drag of a cigarette last night at our housewarming party. I'M SO PISSED. I'm a drag away from a pack a day. I'm a drag away from a pack a day. I'm a drag away from a pack a day.
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): This week has been spent weening myself off the Chantix. Add that to PMS and being really hard on myself about it all and you've got one emotionally confused ex-smoker.
Mood: Ehhh, still figuring it out. Mostly SO HAPPY, though!!
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1760
So, I totally skipped over celebrate my 12 weeks mark on the blog, but it did not pass in vain. This week, I finally had feelings that I really liked myself better as a non-smoker. I'm so dang productive and I feel proud of that. BUT, this week I have faced several moments where I've had to honestly say no to cigarettes. The cravings are back. Luckily, I am fine if I don't drink. BUT, last night Josh reminded me how hard I have worked the last 3 months and that it would all be for nothing if I had even just 1 cigarette. And I agreed. Then, I had a drag of a cigarette - what a horrible addiction nicotine is! I emerged re-committed to quitting. Without the Chantix, I am going to have to do more of the work. I am set up for success, though, as I have built up healthy habits and routines AND I can celebrate the fact that I am done with the Chantix side effects! WOOHOO!
Wish me luck. I have come so far in my quitting journey, but this is just the beginning. Follow along and share my struggles and triumphs!
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): This week has been spent weening myself off the Chantix. Add that to PMS and being really hard on myself about it all and you've got one emotionally confused ex-smoker.
Mood: Ehhh, still figuring it out. Mostly SO HAPPY, though!!
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1760
So, I totally skipped over celebrate my 12 weeks mark on the blog, but it did not pass in vain. This week, I finally had feelings that I really liked myself better as a non-smoker. I'm so dang productive and I feel proud of that. BUT, this week I have faced several moments where I've had to honestly say no to cigarettes. The cravings are back. Luckily, I am fine if I don't drink. BUT, last night Josh reminded me how hard I have worked the last 3 months and that it would all be for nothing if I had even just 1 cigarette. And I agreed. Then, I had a drag of a cigarette - what a horrible addiction nicotine is! I emerged re-committed to quitting. Without the Chantix, I am going to have to do more of the work. I am set up for success, though, as I have built up healthy habits and routines AND I can celebrate the fact that I am done with the Chantix side effects! WOOHOO!
Wish me luck. I have come so far in my quitting journey, but this is just the beginning. Follow along and share my struggles and triumphs!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Day 79
Tonight was my first "night out" with five other smokers. Needless to say, I survived. I still miss smoking, but I. did. it.
I am proud. I have a Nicotine Anonymous Book - 90 Days, 90 Ways. Today is day 79 of my recovery from nicotine and so I turned to that page to share with you. Tomorrow will be 80 days. I am so proud of myself. It's still just one day at a time and I like it that way.
From the book, 90 Days, 90 Ways:
Show up, pay attention, tell the truth and don't be attached to the outcome. - Angeles Arrien
As the winter solstice approaches and the days become shorter, I am reminded of the darkness that seemed to grip me with increasing strength in the final days of my active addiction: the social ostracism; the fear, anxiety and worry over the harm I was causing myself physically; the utter hopelessness I felt about ever being able to quit.
I feared living without my constant companion. I anticipated that life without nicotine would be impossible. But the solstice teaches me that this projection was unwarranted. Just it seems that darkness will never end, there comes a turning point when the days become longer and warmer. Just as I anticipated that life would be unbearable without nicotine, recovery teaches me that life can be filled with so much goodness, beyond my wilder dreams.
Today I choose to live in anticipation that light inevitably follows darkness.
I am proud. I have a Nicotine Anonymous Book - 90 Days, 90 Ways. Today is day 79 of my recovery from nicotine and so I turned to that page to share with you. Tomorrow will be 80 days. I am so proud of myself. It's still just one day at a time and I like it that way.
From the book, 90 Days, 90 Ways:
Show up, pay attention, tell the truth and don't be attached to the outcome. - Angeles Arrien
As the winter solstice approaches and the days become shorter, I am reminded of the darkness that seemed to grip me with increasing strength in the final days of my active addiction: the social ostracism; the fear, anxiety and worry over the harm I was causing myself physically; the utter hopelessness I felt about ever being able to quit.
I feared living without my constant companion. I anticipated that life without nicotine would be impossible. But the solstice teaches me that this projection was unwarranted. Just it seems that darkness will never end, there comes a turning point when the days become longer and warmer. Just as I anticipated that life would be unbearable without nicotine, recovery teaches me that life can be filled with so much goodness, beyond my wilder dreams.
Today I choose to live in anticipation that light inevitably follows darkness.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
11 Weeks!
Day 77
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): Still a bit concerned about mood swings when I cease the Chantix, slight dissociation at times, but that could be due to stress, too.
Mood: Good. I laughed a lot today.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1540
Celebrating 11 weeks today! That's over $500 and 128 hours (over 5 days) that I have back since quitting!!
Enough said.
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): Still a bit concerned about mood swings when I cease the Chantix, slight dissociation at times, but that could be due to stress, too.
Mood: Good. I laughed a lot today.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1540
Celebrating 11 weeks today! That's over $500 and 128 hours (over 5 days) that I have back since quitting!!
Enough said.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
10 Weeks!
Day 70
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): Eh, I'm starting to wondering what it will be like when I stop taking them, but for now I'm used to it.
Mood: All right, had a moment (or several moments) today where I missed cigarettes like you miss a friend.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1400
Hooray! It's been 10 weeks. I've had plenty to keep me busy!
Today (and for the last week) instead of smoking I:
Bottom line: I love my life not smoking. I have more self-confidence and I am proud to be a non-smoker. I will probably be sorting out the rest for a while, but I will focus on the bottom line. It's the only one that matters!
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): Eh, I'm starting to wondering what it will be like when I stop taking them, but for now I'm used to it.
Mood: All right, had a moment (or several moments) today where I missed cigarettes like you miss a friend.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1400
Hooray! It's been 10 weeks. I've had plenty to keep me busy!
Today (and for the last week) instead of smoking I:
- Went to lunch with my great aunts and 2nd cousins.
- Got a pedicure with my best friend.
- Realized that making dinner every night is not a necessity. Even grown ups can eat goldfish crackers for dinner.
- Cleaned carpet's with a steam cleaner - kinda tricky if you're a perfectionist.
- Designed a Save the Date in Photoshop.
- Went grocery shopping.
- Read the Personal Efficiency Program - definitely a good read if you always feel busy! I'm still reading, but so far, the practices are good!
- Made ribs and watched Glee!
- Realized that I kind of love Idina Menzel.
Bottom line: I love my life not smoking. I have more self-confidence and I am proud to be a non-smoker. I will probably be sorting out the rest for a while, but I will focus on the bottom line. It's the only one that matters!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
9 Weeks Today
Day 63
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): I can't even tell anymore, but I'm ready to be done with these bad boys.
Mood: Content, but still like "smoker" Tory better...
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1260
1260 cigarettes not smoked x 5 minutes per cigarette = 6300 minutes
6300 minutes = 105 hours
105 hours = 4.375 days
In 9 weeks, I have literally and instantly gained over 4 days of my life back. We are talking waking hours of productivity here!
While it is great, I still have to learn how to cope with life without cigarettes. I am finding that they were more of a crutch than I thought they were. I still like "smoker" Tory better than non-smoker Tory, but I'm continuing on toward my goal.
With my windows down, I can smell other people smoking (not to mention I live with a smoker) and I still enjoy the smell. I tell smokers I know about how smoking is one of my favorite things in the whole world. But I know that just because I love it, does not make it good for me.
I just have to remember that I'm "a puff away from a pack a day." I will never be able to have just one cigarette, no matter what the circumstance. I will always have to face the fact that I am addicted to cigarettes. But luckily, it's not so hard when you take it just one day at a time!
Today instead of smoking I:
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): I can't even tell anymore, but I'm ready to be done with these bad boys.
Mood: Content, but still like "smoker" Tory better...
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1260
Time for more math!
1260 cigarettes not smoked x 5 minutes per cigarette = 6300 minutes
6300 minutes = 105 hours
105 hours = 4.375 days
In 9 weeks, I have literally and instantly gained over 4 days of my life back. We are talking waking hours of productivity here!
While it is great, I still have to learn how to cope with life without cigarettes. I am finding that they were more of a crutch than I thought they were. I still like "smoker" Tory better than non-smoker Tory, but I'm continuing on toward my goal.
With my windows down, I can smell other people smoking (not to mention I live with a smoker) and I still enjoy the smell. I tell smokers I know about how smoking is one of my favorite things in the whole world. But I know that just because I love it, does not make it good for me.
I just have to remember that I'm "a puff away from a pack a day." I will never be able to have just one cigarette, no matter what the circumstance. I will always have to face the fact that I am addicted to cigarettes. But luckily, it's not so hard when you take it just one day at a time!
Today instead of smoking I:
- Went to lunch with a colleague.
- Moved desks at work (yay promotion!)
- Turned up some music and did a silly dance
- Listened to an interesting story about Florence and the Machine. I think I will buy the new album!
- Defrosted chicken in our new microwave.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Smoking Inhaler
Day 60
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Content
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1200
Happy Easter! Today is a day that marks a new start for many people for many different reasons. Spring has officially sprung and it's beginning to warm up (and dry up) here in Arizona!
There are so many different ways out there to quit smoking. I am curious what different ways people have tried?
I read an article on WebMD about a smoking inhaler. Basically, it seems to be a cigarette. It looks like a cigarette and gives you the nicotine your body craves, but without the tar and chemicals and bad stuff. What I can't overtly tell from the article is: why can't you just stick with the inhaler? If it gives you the good part of nicotine, the "fix" if you will, without all of the bad-for-you stuff, then why do would anyone ever end up weening themselves off of the inhaler? I would be curious to find out the long-term outcome of the inhaler.
In other news, I would love to begin to share this blog with others who have begun or are beginning their road to quit smoking! Please leave a comment if you or someone you know would be interested in sharing their story for the greater good.
What I did today instead of smoking:
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Content
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1200
Happy Easter! Today is a day that marks a new start for many people for many different reasons. Spring has officially sprung and it's beginning to warm up (and dry up) here in Arizona!
There are so many different ways out there to quit smoking. I am curious what different ways people have tried?
I read an article on WebMD about a smoking inhaler. Basically, it seems to be a cigarette. It looks like a cigarette and gives you the nicotine your body craves, but without the tar and chemicals and bad stuff. What I can't overtly tell from the article is: why can't you just stick with the inhaler? If it gives you the good part of nicotine, the "fix" if you will, without all of the bad-for-you stuff, then why do would anyone ever end up weening themselves off of the inhaler? I would be curious to find out the long-term outcome of the inhaler.
In other news, I would love to begin to share this blog with others who have begun or are beginning their road to quit smoking! Please leave a comment if you or someone you know would be interested in sharing their story for the greater good.
What I did today instead of smoking:
- Finished unpacking! Everyone said not to worry about unpacking, that they still have boxes from years ago, and to those people I laugh in your face! Ok, that's not nice, but I guess when you don't have kids and are keeping busy to keep from smoking, you're a little over-productive.
- Enjoyed Easter with my family.
- Gave away old clothes - it's great to clean out un-needed things! Makes you feel so good...
- Cooked 6 pounds of hamburger meat (it was on sale!) for use in tacos and pasta sauces later in the week/month.
- Ripped the few music CDs I have to my computer and threw them away. For some reason, they play on my computer, but are too scratched to play anywhere else. Besides, my CD player in my car has been busted for a while now.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
There is never a good time to quit....
Day 57
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Exhausted!!
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1140
Settling in to my new house is so much fun! On Tuesday, I was told that we are changing a pretty big procedure at work. I quickly thought of all of our clients that have the old standard in their contract and how much of a pain in the butt this transition is going to be. But, I quickly realized that the overall benefit outweighs the work we will have to devote to the change. And just like the fact that there is no good time to quit smoking, there is no good time to make this transition.
What I did today (and the last few weeks) instead of smoking:
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Exhausted!!
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1140
Settling in to my new house is so much fun! On Tuesday, I was told that we are changing a pretty big procedure at work. I quickly thought of all of our clients that have the old standard in their contract and how much of a pain in the butt this transition is going to be. But, I quickly realized that the overall benefit outweighs the work we will have to devote to the change. And just like the fact that there is no good time to quit smoking, there is no good time to make this transition.
What I did today (and the last few weeks) instead of smoking:
- Packed and moved! (pictures behind the link)
- Got promoted
- Bought a fridge
- Bought a bed
- Reveled in doing laundry with our new-to-us washer/dryer
- Was really proud of my uncle for reaching 30,000 miles on his road bike!!
- Took more pictures than I had been in the past
- Realized how much I love my fiance, family and friends
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Movin' on up!
Day 55
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Diligent. Focused.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1100
Hours Not Spent Smoking: 91.67
Tomorrow marks the TWO MONTH point for my quit smoking journey. Since my last post, I stopped taking Chantix for a period of 5 days or so, which, coupled with some awesome PMS hormones and moving equated to some tears and frustration. I am now back on the Chantix and I am happy to report that Josh and I are all moved in to our new house (and he has not asked for the ring back even after my emotional behavior!).
With Josh still smoking, I have realized while I don't miss the smoking, I miss the hanging out time. When we would have a cigarette together, it was bonding time. I continue to look for new ways to accomplish the same thing in such an effortless way. If anyone else knows how, please advise.
Everyone says that for me to quit while still living with a smoker must be "so hard" and it is. But I just continue to take things one day at a time. As much as I wish he would quit, I know how difficult it is. He will quit when he wants to.
Check My Life as a Grown Up for pictures of the new house (coming soon!)....
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Diligent. Focused.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 1100
Hours Not Spent Smoking: 91.67
Tomorrow marks the TWO MONTH point for my quit smoking journey. Since my last post, I stopped taking Chantix for a period of 5 days or so, which, coupled with some awesome PMS hormones and moving equated to some tears and frustration. I am now back on the Chantix and I am happy to report that Josh and I are all moved in to our new house (and he has not asked for the ring back even after my emotional behavior!).
With Josh still smoking, I have realized while I don't miss the smoking, I miss the hanging out time. When we would have a cigarette together, it was bonding time. I continue to look for new ways to accomplish the same thing in such an effortless way. If anyone else knows how, please advise.
Everyone says that for me to quit while still living with a smoker must be "so hard" and it is. But I just continue to take things one day at a time. As much as I wish he would quit, I know how difficult it is. He will quit when he wants to.
Check My Life as a Grown Up for pictures of the new house (coming soon!)....
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Hair Style Update
Day 41
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Not sleeping well.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 820
Hours Not Spent Smoking: 68.33
We are good to go - closing on our house soon. We could have our keys as early as Friday! It's true. I'm so excited! I never thought the day would come, but truthfully, we had it pretty easy. Well, a couple of hiccups that nearly made me want to start smoking again, but nothing I did not handle. I did not say I handled it perfectly, but I handled it without smoking. That is what counts!
So I have been talking about this hair challenge and promising photos. Today was day #17! Let me see if I can recap which styles I have already used.
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Not sleeping well.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 820
Hours Not Spent Smoking: 68.33
We are good to go - closing on our house soon. We could have our keys as early as Friday! It's true. I'm so excited! I never thought the day would come, but truthfully, we had it pretty easy. Well, a couple of hiccups that nearly made me want to start smoking again, but nothing I did not handle. I did not say I handled it perfectly, but I handled it without smoking. That is what counts!
So I have been talking about this hair challenge and promising photos. Today was day #17! Let me see if I can recap which styles I have already used.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Nobody's Perfect
Day 39
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0.5 (EW)
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Getting a little better. Still not normal.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 780
Hours Not Spent Smoking: 65
Friday night, to prove that I am not lame, I went out with one of my best friends. We had a fabulous time and I did really well not smoking - until the end of the evening. I had had just enough that I decided that I wanted a cigarette. Big mistake. It was foul tasting. I am fairly certain I will not do that again.
Since my last update, a co-worker and friend of mine told me that I should go back to smoking because she liked me better that way. She and I don't see eye to eye on everything and apparently, I have been rubbing her the wrong way lately. Either way, what she said was really hurtful. Sometimes, I feel like I like myself better as a smoker, too. Smoker Tory is calm and patient. She does not care if things don't go her way. She just smooths over her emotions with a quick cigarette and moves on. That being said, it will take me quite a while to determine how healthy Tory will find a way to react with the same patience and calmness of smoker Tory. PS I explained to my friend how hurtful that comment was and she apologized.
There are currently 10 more days and one 2nd appraisal between us and the keys to our new home. Hopefully the appraisal will be completed Monday or Tuesday and we will begin all of the closing stuff right after! I am so excited to move in to our new home.
In the last two weekends, I have cleaned my grandparents' house, (sort of) helped my sister-in-law move, went to a niece's dedication, celebrated my fiance's birthday, went bridesmaid dress shopping with the girls (both for my wedding and my best friend's wedding), had dinner with friends and watched the Oscars, house sat for three dobermans, got a pedicure, did the running man at a bar, went to a niece's 2nd birthday party, fixed my crashed laptop (well Josh did that) and went mattress shopping.
What I did today (and the last few days) instead of smoking:
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0.5 (EW)
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Getting a little better. Still not normal.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 780
Hours Not Spent Smoking: 65
Friday night, to prove that I am not lame, I went out with one of my best friends. We had a fabulous time and I did really well not smoking - until the end of the evening. I had had just enough that I decided that I wanted a cigarette. Big mistake. It was foul tasting. I am fairly certain I will not do that again.
Since my last update, a co-worker and friend of mine told me that I should go back to smoking because she liked me better that way. She and I don't see eye to eye on everything and apparently, I have been rubbing her the wrong way lately. Either way, what she said was really hurtful. Sometimes, I feel like I like myself better as a smoker, too. Smoker Tory is calm and patient. She does not care if things don't go her way. She just smooths over her emotions with a quick cigarette and moves on. That being said, it will take me quite a while to determine how healthy Tory will find a way to react with the same patience and calmness of smoker Tory. PS I explained to my friend how hurtful that comment was and she apologized.
There are currently 10 more days and one 2nd appraisal between us and the keys to our new home. Hopefully the appraisal will be completed Monday or Tuesday and we will begin all of the closing stuff right after! I am so excited to move in to our new home.
In the last two weekends, I have cleaned my grandparents' house, (sort of) helped my sister-in-law move, went to a niece's dedication, celebrated my fiance's birthday, went bridesmaid dress shopping with the girls (both for my wedding and my best friend's wedding), had dinner with friends and watched the Oscars, house sat for three dobermans, got a pedicure, did the running man at a bar, went to a niece's 2nd birthday party, fixed my crashed laptop (well Josh did that) and went mattress shopping.
What I did today (and the last few days) instead of smoking:
- Realized my love for ginger ale.
- Spent time playing dress up with my hair! (I realize that you will believe it when you see it.) Day 14 of hair challenge completed.
- Bought new sandals for summer twenty ten.
- Wore a tank top and basked in Arizona's sunshine.
- Danced like no one was watching.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
5 Weeks Tomorrow
Day 34
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Oh fine. Crazy-ness at work, but nothing I can't handle.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 680
Hours Not Spent Smoking: 56
What I did today instead of smoking:
In other news, in the last two weeks two houses have been simplified in to one and we are currently waiting on appraisal #2 for our new house. Moving and buying a house are stressful, but not an excuse to start smoking again. I am still taking things one day at a time - and believe you me, they add up pretty quick!
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Oh fine. Crazy-ness at work, but nothing I can't handle.
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 680
Hours Not Spent Smoking: 56
What I did today instead of smoking:
- Went out back with the smokers for fresh air! My friend started Chantix yesterday. Hooray for the revolution.
- Called my mom. Called my aunt.
- Read a magazine - one of three that I bought with my Coke Rewards Points! Body + Soul, Vanity Fair and Conde Naste Traveler. Collecting Coke Points is super fun! My aunt and friends save them for me.
- Worked for over 12 hours.
- Had a super yummy lunch at J. Alexander's.
- Completed day 10 of the hair challenge - a different hair style everyday for 21 days!
In other news, in the last two weeks two houses have been simplified in to one and we are currently waiting on appraisal #2 for our new house. Moving and buying a house are stressful, but not an excuse to start smoking again. I am still taking things one day at a time - and believe you me, they add up pretty quick!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Welcome to March Madness!
Day 27
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Anxious Mess
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 540
Hours Not Spent Smoking: 45
I've gained almost two whole days worth of waking time within the last four weeks of not smoking. That's incredible. Can you imagine? Almost. Two. Whole. Days. I am really proud of myself for taking this on and I keep reminding myself that there is no good time to quit smoking.
What is not incredible is that my life feels utterly stressful and anxiety-ridden within the last couple of days. It's all petty and will pass, like it always does, but I'm realizing that I might be more of a perfectionist than I thought.
Being a smoker helped the perfectionist inside me. Being a smoker in-and-of-itself means that I am not perfect, that I have succumbed to an addiction. If ever I felt not perfect, I would reach for a cigarette and feel better. If something didn't go the way I wanted I would have a cigarette and laugh about it. Now, I must say that when things aren't going the way I planned I am reacting with emotions that are less than perfect to say the least. I am being really hard on myself, but it's hard for me to let go of the ideal I have in my head.
Emotions that I have experienced in the last few days that would have normally caused me to light up include: sadness, annoyance, frustration, stress, impatience and I could go on. These emotions are so ugly. I've thought multiple times in the last few days that I liked myself better as a smoker. I was still a type A personality, but a little more easy going.
But FEAR NOT! I am determined to quit this time. I just have to take things one day at a time!
What I did today instead of smoking:
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0
Mood: Anxious Mess
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 540
Hours Not Spent Smoking: 45
I've gained almost two whole days worth of waking time within the last four weeks of not smoking. That's incredible. Can you imagine? Almost. Two. Whole. Days. I am really proud of myself for taking this on and I keep reminding myself that there is no good time to quit smoking.
What is not incredible is that my life feels utterly stressful and anxiety-ridden within the last couple of days. It's all petty and will pass, like it always does, but I'm realizing that I might be more of a perfectionist than I thought.
Being a smoker helped the perfectionist inside me. Being a smoker in-and-of-itself means that I am not perfect, that I have succumbed to an addiction. If ever I felt not perfect, I would reach for a cigarette and feel better. If something didn't go the way I wanted I would have a cigarette and laugh about it. Now, I must say that when things aren't going the way I planned I am reacting with emotions that are less than perfect to say the least. I am being really hard on myself, but it's hard for me to let go of the ideal I have in my head.
Emotions that I have experienced in the last few days that would have normally caused me to light up include: sadness, annoyance, frustration, stress, impatience and I could go on. These emotions are so ugly. I've thought multiple times in the last few days that I liked myself better as a smoker. I was still a type A personality, but a little more easy going.
But FEAR NOT! I am determined to quit this time. I just have to take things one day at a time!
What I did today instead of smoking:
- Asked for help and got it.
- Admitted I was wrong.
- Took lots of deep breaths.
- Listened.
- Talked with my sis.
- Thought about the future and what my life will look like next month after things settle down... :-)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
New Side Effect
Day 20
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 10
Mood: Determined at work, tired at home
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 400
What I did today instead of smoking:
What I do not like about Chantix (read this past blog post if you're curious how Chantix works to help you quit smoking), is a new side effect that I experienced last night. Normally, Chantix makes you feel sleepy, so taking it right before bed is no big deal. And, by the time you would normally start to feel nauseous, you're already asleep. It's really a win/win!
But last night, when paired with a Large Diet Coke in the afternoon and a Diet Mountain Dew with dinner, my Chantix got angry. I fell asleep as usual, and then was awakened shortly thereafter burning up and with the worst stomach ache! My mind was racing and I could not get comfortable or fall back asleep for what seemed like eternity. I'm not positive it was the caffeine, but I don't normally have a problem falling asleep or staying asleep, so I think that might be it!
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 10
Mood: Determined at work, tired at home
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 400
What I did today instead of smoking:
- Joined co-worker in back while he had a cigarette. I realized that he and I hadn't really talked since I quit. Good news: he is quitting March 1! Woohoo... smoker revolution!
- Called my Auntie Aye!
- Listened to my old boss tell a story about back in the day when my high school was a drug dealing mecca. He was there during that time.
- Wore a Snuggie to the Taco Bell drive thru (I never said I was proud of any of these things).
- Laughed at my cat Peanut playing dead.
What I do not like about Chantix (read this past blog post if you're curious how Chantix works to help you quit smoking), is a new side effect that I experienced last night. Normally, Chantix makes you feel sleepy, so taking it right before bed is no big deal. And, by the time you would normally start to feel nauseous, you're already asleep. It's really a win/win!
But last night, when paired with a Large Diet Coke in the afternoon and a Diet Mountain Dew with dinner, my Chantix got angry. I fell asleep as usual, and then was awakened shortly thereafter burning up and with the worst stomach ache! My mind was racing and I could not get comfortable or fall back asleep for what seemed like eternity. I'm not positive it was the caffeine, but I don't normally have a problem falling asleep or staying asleep, so I think that might be it!
Monday, February 22, 2010
New Shoes
Day 19
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 4 - a little sluggish feeling, no nausea, more like heartburn
Mood: Upbeat, positive
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 380
What I did today instead of smoking:
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 4 - a little sluggish feeling, no nausea, more like heartburn
Mood: Upbeat, positive
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 380
What I did today instead of smoking:
- Texted that I was running late to work while driving.
This is now illegal in ArizonaThis might be illegal someday in Arizona, but isn't quite yet.
- Wore a cute belt over a turtle neck tunic sweater - perfect for rainy Arizona weather.
- Picked up new prescription for Chantix - $170.00 budgeted for this expense. New BC/BS of California Rx insurance brought the retail price down to $20.00! I told the pharmacist that I would get a new pair of shoes! But coincidentally #4 is:
- Bought a new pair of shoes yesterday! Went to DSW to spend a gift card from Melissa and had no idea what I wanted. I did not pick these shoes - they picked me. They are superb. I will post a photo later after I shave my legs.
- Took a picture of a rainbow in the parking lot of Desert Ridge - so pretty!
- Watched 24.
- Treated myself to a new outfit from Kohl's.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Ants in my pants, Ants in my pants... Lookin' like a fool with ants in my pants
Day 18
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0 - I've been bad about taking my morning Chantix, but still having crazy dreams from my night dose. Last night I dreamed that I had big, black ants crawling all over me.
Mood: Stressed and focused
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 360
Hours of Time I Have Not Spent Smoking: 30
Here is what Dreammoods.com has to say about dreaming about ants:
Road rage is all the rage my life right now. My father used to flip his lid if someone was not driving a constant speed or cut him off or was driving slow for no reason (and the list goes on). As a child I would sink down lower in my seat in embarrassment.
Smoking helped me avoid experiencing the same rage. If someone was being a stupid driver or traffic was really bad, I would light up! What a joy to have a relaxing cigarette in the face of a gridlocked freeway. How easy it was to pass the time with my friend and entertainment - a little nicotine buddy. So for now, I'm blasting alternative rock and allowing myself to yell at other people while five-year old Tory is in sitting embarrassed in the backseat.
Also, I have been quite diligent lately at work, around the house, getting things together for our mortgage approval. So that definition works, too. And I've been doing a lot of praying lately for friends, family and Josh and me.
Here is what I did instead of smoking:
Cigarettes Today (or since my last post): 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 0 - I've been bad about taking my morning Chantix, but still having crazy dreams from my night dose. Last night I dreamed that I had big, black ants crawling all over me.
Mood: Stressed and focused
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 360
Hours of Time I Have Not Spent Smoking: 30
Here is what Dreammoods.com has to say about dreaming about ants:
Ants
To see ants in your dream, signifies your general dissatisfaction in your daily life. You are feeling neglected and insignificant. Petty things will annoy you throughout the following day. You need to be more cooperative as this will be the only way to achieve your desires.
The dream may also be a metaphor on feeling antsy or restless or it can be a pun on your "aunt".
Ants also symbolize hard work, diligence and industry. Increase business activities are expected. On a less positive note, ants symbolize social conformity and mass action. In this regard, you may feel that your life is too structured and orderly.
According to the biblical interpretations, ants symbolize diligence concerning the things of God. Despite its small size, the ant lays up substance during times of plenty. (Prov 30:25)
Road rage is all the rage my life right now. My father used to flip his lid if someone was not driving a constant speed or cut him off or was driving slow for no reason (and the list goes on). As a child I would sink down lower in my seat in embarrassment.
Smoking helped me avoid experiencing the same rage. If someone was being a stupid driver or traffic was really bad, I would light up! What a joy to have a relaxing cigarette in the face of a gridlocked freeway. How easy it was to pass the time with my friend and entertainment - a little nicotine buddy. So for now, I'm blasting alternative rock and allowing myself to yell at other people while five-year old Tory is in sitting embarrassed in the backseat.
Also, I have been quite diligent lately at work, around the house, getting things together for our mortgage approval. So that definition works, too. And I've been doing a lot of praying lately for friends, family and Josh and me.
Here is what I did instead of smoking:
- Daydreamed about fun outfits I have never worn before and played dress-up.
- Watched Inglorious Basterds (a MUST see!)
- Drank wine.
- Read A Blissful Bounty on a daily basis.
- Went shopping with my mother-in-law in their garage for furniture for our new house.
- Wore cozy new socks hand-knit, from my mother-in-law.
- Met with the most awesome DJ in Arizona who will be doing our wedding!
- Went to dinner in the dark with my fiance. The power went out right after we got our food - lucky us!
- Treated myself to a Skinny Vanilla Latte and Blueberry Scone on a rainy Saturday morning.
- Taken lots of deep breaths.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I can't think of a good title for this post and it's pissing me off.
Day 13
Cigarettes Today: 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): I'm not sure I even took it this morning. Could not remember, but I think I did, so I guess that means 0?
Mood: Scattered at work, Glad to be home
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 260
Today was a busy day with a meeting in downtown PHX where I successfully lost my ID and debit card. I attended the Greek Awards at ASU and spent some quality time with my favorite collegians. I did not even know my ID/debit card were missing until I received a call from my Nana, who I now realize is the only family member sharing my last name who is listed in the phone book. She gave me the number of Officer Stahl, the security guard who luckily found my lost items. I promptly called him only to realize that the number Nana gave me was wrong. UGH. Right about this time, I was navigating out of the visitor parking garage at ASU and was glad to actually have cash on me (for once!) to pay for parking sans debit card.
I am ashamed to share some of the things that I did today instead of smoking. I am proud of some of the activities I do instead of smoking, but others are fits of frustration and impatience which I hope will be fewer and further between as time goes on.
Here is what I did today instead of smoking:
Cigarettes Today: 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): I'm not sure I even took it this morning. Could not remember, but I think I did, so I guess that means 0?
Mood: Scattered at work, Glad to be home
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 260
Today was a busy day with a meeting in downtown PHX where I successfully lost my ID and debit card. I attended the Greek Awards at ASU and spent some quality time with my favorite collegians. I did not even know my ID/debit card were missing until I received a call from my Nana, who I now realize is the only family member sharing my last name who is listed in the phone book. She gave me the number of Officer Stahl, the security guard who luckily found my lost items. I promptly called him only to realize that the number Nana gave me was wrong. UGH. Right about this time, I was navigating out of the visitor parking garage at ASU and was glad to actually have cash on me (for once!) to pay for parking sans debit card.
I am ashamed to share some of the things that I did today instead of smoking. I am proud of some of the activities I do instead of smoking, but others are fits of frustration and impatience which I hope will be fewer and further between as time goes on.
Here is what I did today instead of smoking:
- Put together an outfit that I had never worn before.
- Told a co-worker that I quit smoking when she invited me to have a cigarette with her.
- Shook my head in disgust and swore to myself when I almost hit a bicyclist in Tempe. I know they have the right of way, but he was looking at the ground!
- Yelled at a bus that stopped for no apparent reason in the middle of a left turn.
- Called one of my BFF's to find out the next time she was going to spin class. P.S. It's Thursday - let's see if I go!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes...
Turn and face the strange ch ch changes...
Day 12
Cigarettes Today: 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 3
Mood: Determined at work and home
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 240
As a smoker, I always tried to rationalize when was the best time to quit. Certainly around November/December would be disastrous because it's the holiday season. And you don't want to quit just because it's a New Year's resolution, so January is out. And you know that any big event like a move or starting a new job or breaking up with a boyfriend meant that it was not a good time to quit either.
After these rationalizations began to continue, I realized that there truly is no good time to quit. So, now, is just as a good a time as any to quit smoking despite the fact that Josh and I are buying a house, moving twice in one month, planning a wedding and getting married all in one year. Did I mention that I am working two jobs, cleaning my grandparents house about once a month and house sitting/baby sitting when I can squeeze them into my sanity?
So if I can do it, surely you can, too.
It's funny how having so much to do has actually helped me quit smoking. Staying focused on little tasks athand will add up to days, weeks, months and years of not smoking.
Here is what I did today instead of smoking:
Day 12
Cigarettes Today: 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 3
Mood: Determined at work and home
Cigarettes NOT Smoked Since Quit Date: 240
As a smoker, I always tried to rationalize when was the best time to quit. Certainly around November/December would be disastrous because it's the holiday season. And you don't want to quit just because it's a New Year's resolution, so January is out. And you know that any big event like a move or starting a new job or breaking up with a boyfriend meant that it was not a good time to quit either.
After these rationalizations began to continue, I realized that there truly is no good time to quit. So, now, is just as a good a time as any to quit smoking despite the fact that Josh and I are buying a house, moving twice in one month, planning a wedding and getting married all in one year. Did I mention that I am working two jobs, cleaning my grandparents house about once a month and house sitting/baby sitting when I can squeeze them into my sanity?
So if I can do it, surely you can, too.
It's funny how having so much to do has actually helped me quit smoking. Staying focused on little tasks athand will add up to days, weeks, months and years of not smoking.
Here is what I did today instead of smoking:
- Woke up and attempted a copy-cat outfit from one of my dearest friend Lauren's fashion blog. Was unsuccessful, but most of my clothes are in boxes. I did the best I could with what I had.
- Sat at my desk and ate lunch on Facebook.
- Made macaroni and cheese from scratch. It was pretty good - next time will serve as a side dish.
- Played with my kitties.
- Cleaned glass stove top.
- Watched the Olympics and 24.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Oh Joy, I'll try a Cigarette
Day 8
Cigarettes Today: .05 of 1 - it was gross, not sure why I even bothered
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst):
Mood: Sassy at work, Exhausted at home
I figure at some point, I should discuss my history with battling nicotine addiction. But then I figured I could always just send you to my main blog's one and only post about the last time I quit.
Here is what I did today instead of smoking:
1. Was sarcastically (jokingly) mean to a co-worker all day. I think he might have actually started to believe me by the end of the day, or it was just getting annoying and he was fed up.
2. Got a pedicure and manicure
3. Cried on the inside when the nice Asian lady ripped off a blister and poured alcohol on it
Today I didn't need much to distract me from the habitual urge to smoke. It was a busy day at work and early on, I decided to dangle the mani/pedi in front of my work horse to celebrate making it one week with no cigarettes.
Oddly enough, I apparently enjoy smoking to celebrate good news, too, not just stress, because I immediately reached for a cigarette when Josh and I were basking in the glow of an accepted offer on the house we are hoping to buy! That was my crux today.
But, I'm not starting my counting again. I'm just not.
Cigarettes Today: .05 of 1 - it was gross, not sure why I even bothered
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst):
Mood: Sassy at work, Exhausted at home
I figure at some point, I should discuss my history with battling nicotine addiction. But then I figured I could always just send you to my main blog's one and only post about the last time I quit.
Here is what I did today instead of smoking:
1. Was sarcastically (jokingly) mean to a co-worker all day. I think he might have actually started to believe me by the end of the day, or it was just getting annoying and he was fed up.
2. Got a pedicure and manicure
3. Cried on the inside when the nice Asian lady ripped off a blister and poured alcohol on it
Today I didn't need much to distract me from the habitual urge to smoke. It was a busy day at work and early on, I decided to dangle the mani/pedi in front of my work horse to celebrate making it one week with no cigarettes.
Oddly enough, I apparently enjoy smoking to celebrate good news, too, not just stress, because I immediately reached for a cigarette when Josh and I were basking in the glow of an accepted offer on the house we are hoping to buy! That was my crux today.
But, I'm not starting my counting again. I'm just not.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Short But Bittersweet
Day 7
Cigarettes Today: 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 8
Mood: ADD at work, defeated at home
Here is what I did today instead of smoking:
1. Played with a baby
2. Listened to Ipod on repeat (this song)
3. Yelled at an older woman who insisted on driving less than 5 mph in the Post Office parking lot and who signaled when making three consecutive turns that were ONE WAY turns. Did I mention it was the SECOND Post Office I went to (the first was closed) and it was 4:50 p.m.?
4. Thanked God that my packages were already postmarked! The line was 20 people deep.
5. Sat and stared.
6. Cried when I accidentally erased Group Week of American Idol.
7. Thanked Josh for promptly downloading Group Week of American Idol at the first sight of tears.
But I didn't have ONE cigarette! :-)
Cigarettes Today: 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 8
Mood: ADD at work, defeated at home
Here is what I did today instead of smoking:
1. Played with a baby
2. Listened to Ipod on repeat (this song)
3. Yelled at an older woman who insisted on driving less than 5 mph in the Post Office parking lot and who signaled when making three consecutive turns that were ONE WAY turns. Did I mention it was the SECOND Post Office I went to (the first was closed) and it was 4:50 p.m.?
4. Thanked God that my packages were already postmarked! The line was 20 people deep.
5. Sat and stared.
6. Cried when I accidentally erased Group Week of American Idol.
7. Thanked Josh for promptly downloading Group Week of American Idol at the first sight of tears.
But I didn't have ONE cigarette! :-)
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Join Me as I Fight the Good Fight Against Nicotine
Day 6
Cigarettes Today: 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 5
Mood: Annoyed at work/Fine at home
This blog officially starts day 6 of Chantix in my third (or is it fourth now?) venture to quit smoking. As I didn't really like to write about my quitting smoking struggles on my personal blog, I decided to start a quick, bullet-point blog that will list daily (or as close-to-daily-as-possible) what I did instead of smoking.
When you consider that each cigarette takes about 5 minutes to smoke, not to mention the time it takes to walk to a "smoking area," if you're at a pack-a-day habit, that's 100 minutes out of your life each day. Part of the joy of not smoking is finding what to do with those 100 minutes each day.
Here is what I did today instead of smoking:
1. Listened to my Ipod at work (specifically albums I hadn't listened to in a while)
2. Rearranged my cubicle (well, I did this yesterday, but I didn't have this blog yesterday)
3. Took dogs on a walk
4. Watched American Idol
5. Started a blog
6. Took a bath*
Yesterday my co-worker invited me outside for a cigarette. When I told her I was quitting again, she replied sarcastically, "Oh, you're trying that again." The cubicle world I work in burst in to awkward laughter at her discouraging comment. But it's true, a fellow smoker is the best one to understand how hard it is to quit.
Something feels different about this time, though. I'm more determined to make a big change in my life and saying good bye to cigarettes seems like a good way to do it. Join me as I share my experiences of past attempts at quitting, what I learned from each failed attempt and what I do each day during this journey to fill my life with joy instead of cigarettes.
*I bathe regardless of whether or not I'm smoking, but I took a bath to relax instead of necessity.
Cigarettes Today: 0
Chantix Side Effects (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst): 5
Mood: Annoyed at work/Fine at home
This blog officially starts day 6 of Chantix in my third (or is it fourth now?) venture to quit smoking. As I didn't really like to write about my quitting smoking struggles on my personal blog, I decided to start a quick, bullet-point blog that will list daily (or as close-to-daily-as-possible) what I did instead of smoking.
When you consider that each cigarette takes about 5 minutes to smoke, not to mention the time it takes to walk to a "smoking area," if you're at a pack-a-day habit, that's 100 minutes out of your life each day. Part of the joy of not smoking is finding what to do with those 100 minutes each day.
Here is what I did today instead of smoking:
1. Listened to my Ipod at work (specifically albums I hadn't listened to in a while)
2. Rearranged my cubicle (well, I did this yesterday, but I didn't have this blog yesterday)
3. Took dogs on a walk
4. Watched American Idol
5. Started a blog
6. Took a bath*
Yesterday my co-worker invited me outside for a cigarette. When I told her I was quitting again, she replied sarcastically, "Oh, you're trying that again." The cubicle world I work in burst in to awkward laughter at her discouraging comment. But it's true, a fellow smoker is the best one to understand how hard it is to quit.
Something feels different about this time, though. I'm more determined to make a big change in my life and saying good bye to cigarettes seems like a good way to do it. Join me as I share my experiences of past attempts at quitting, what I learned from each failed attempt and what I do each day during this journey to fill my life with joy instead of cigarettes.
*I bathe regardless of whether or not I'm smoking, but I took a bath to relax instead of necessity.
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